The latest status symbol: Illegal alien

Truths regarding illegal aliens in America

by Howie Carr
DNN Staff - EXCLUSIVE!
Tuesday, Jun. 15, 2010

If I ever get in a jam, I ask no special favors.

Just treat me like an illegal alien. Please. Especially one from terror-infested Pakistan. Believe it or not, it’s even sweeter to be a Pakistani Illegal - excuse me, an undocumented worker - than a pregnant illiterate freeloader from Mexico.

Let us consider the cases of the Khan cousins from Pakistan. Their attorney is one Saher Macarius, who won’t return my phone calls.

First there’s Pir D. Khan, a 43-year-old illegal cabbie who on at least one Boston hackney license scrawled “illegal.” He illegally entered the country from Mexico. Even the impeccably PC Attorney General Eric Holder has said that Khan and his illegal-alien pals may

have provided money transfers to would-be Times Square terror bomber Faisal Shazad.

In 1994, Pir claimed he had a wife and child in Pakistan. At the time he was seeking “political asylum.” This is also known as “doing the Auntie Zeituni,” because a successful plea enables the invader to immediately begin collecting welfare from the infidel dogs.

Pir D. Khan’s plea to go on the dole was rejected, but pending appeal he was allowed to stay in the land where everything is free, at least if you’re illegal. In December 2008, Khan got married to an American woman known as Rebecca May Barry.

This would have made him a bigamist, but not to worry. His lawyer now says that despite what Pir D. Kahn had claimed earlier, presumably under pains of perjury, he had never been legally married to the first woman, in Pakistan. And if that wasn’t enough, now she’s dead.

Khan’s American “bride” didn’t show up at his most recent immigration hearing. But his lawyer said she would suffer “extreme personal hardship” if her, ahem, husband, is sent back to the Third World hellhole from which he fled. At the time of his arrest, by the way, Pir Khan was living not with his “wife,” but with some other males in an apartment in Watertown, including his fellow illegal-alien cousin.

Do you begin to see how the immigration/welfare system works? An illegal alien’s case is never over . . . until the illegal alien wins. After which he goes on welfare, or more likely, continues on the dole. Like Auntie Zeituni.

Imagine if you - or any other U.S. citizen - had lied on an official document about a spouse. Can you say “perjury?” And if the feds had evidence tying you to an Islamic terrorist who was trying to blow up a theater full of American kids at a Saturday matinee of a Disney Broadway show in Times Square. How would the feds treat a “militiaman?”

Next we come to Pir’s cousin, Aftab Khan. This illegals visa expired Nov. 17 and the very next day, he married an American citizen at Cambridge City Hall. True love, obviously. She got him on the rebound, according to the feds, after another U.S. citizen declined his offer of $5,000 to marry him.

Oh sure, the G-men say this scheming foreigner had the Times Square bomber’s phone number on his cellphone, and yes, the number was also found on a piece of paper in Aftabs’ Watertown hideout. Gunga Din he wasnt. But Aftab Khan “denies the allegations.”

You got a problem with that? Then prepare to get a subpoena from the U.S. attorney’s new hate-crimes unit.