Deval Patrick: I stand before you to get behind you

Patrick hides real truth at state's convention

by Howie Carr
DNN Staff - EXCLUSIVE!
Monday, Jun. 7, 2010

Here is the speech Gov. Deval Patrick could have delivered yesterday to the payroll patriots at the state Democratic convention in Worcester:

“My fellow hacks, let me begin by quoting a line from one of my favorite films, ‘Blazing Saddles,’ which perfectly sums up what this campaign is all about.

‘We have to protect our phony baloney jobs here, gentlemen.’

And not just our phony baloney jobs, but those of our worthless kinsmen and pals. It’s for the children - our children - that they, too, might one day have toll booths and fare boxes to steal from, like their jailbird forefathers before them.

We may have our differences, you and I, but remember one thing: As governor, I am the only person standing between you and the Dreaded Private Sector, as if any of you slugs in the Probation Department or the DCR could find, let alone keep, a real job, the kind where you don’t get Bunker Hill Day off.

Think about all we’ve accomplished together: sales tax up 25 percent, new drapes in the Corner Office, casinos on the way. Auntie Zeituni on the dole. A $1.35 million book contract for me. And don’t forget our ethics reform - not a single member of the Legislature has been convicted of a felony in the last 48 hours.

Vicki Kennedy is here today. We cherish the memory of her late husband, which is costing us at least $58 million in federal pork, and I urge everyone to read his biography, or should I say hagiography, “Last Lion,” now available at fine remainder tables everywhere.

Let us recall, too, the other fallen heroes of the hackerama, laid low by surveillance video, bad ice cubes or simple hubris. Finneran, DiMasi, Galluccio, Marzilli, Dianne Wilkerson - and pay no attention to that robo-call I made for her in 2008.

And a very special shoutout today to John Buonomo, an inspiration to us all. Forget Beacon Hill, let’s hear it today for Winter Hill.

This is an exciting moment . . . well, OK, it’s actually pretty dreary, spending a weekend in Worcester, unless maybe you’re Guy Glodis. Speaking of which, we’re with the sheriff. It’s how we modern Democrats celebrate diversity, by allowing a white male or two from Massachusetts on the statewide ticket. I need Suzanne Bump about as much as I needed Susan Goldberg in ’06.

I can’t come right and say it, but I’m with Steve Murphy, too. Number one, if he wins, I get another one of my homeboys, Tito Jackson, onto the City Council. Plus, I’m not sure Steve Grossman can beat Polito. He’s one of those guys who if he gave a fireside chat, the fire would go out.

Have any of you been reading the national polls? At the risk of jinxing myself, I’m one of the few Democrat incumbents anywhere who’s ahead, and I may be the only one who’s up by double digits. As you leave the hall this afternoon, if you see Tim Cahill out on the sidewalk with a megaphone pretending to attack me, be sure to shake his hand, wink, and tell him how grateful we all are. Our plan is working perfectly.

And thanks, too, to Charlie Baker, for resurrecting the same all-star GOP brain trust that ran such a stellar campaign for Muffy Healey against us four years ago.

Now, I’m headed out to my mansion in Richmond. I’ll be writing my book this weekend, and if you believe that one, you probably think I’m still working on that property tax cut I promised the suckers four years ago.”

Gov. Patrick will say whatever he can to get re-elected at
the state's Democratic Convention this past Saturday
(DNN Staff photo)

Boston O'Reilly Graham Carr Siciliano