Top 10 fears for this decade

Article 1-5-10

Howie Carr sums up decade ahead

by Howie Carr
DNN Staff - EXCLUSIVE!
Monday, Jan. 4, 2010

This doesn’t qualify as either a fear or a prediction, but let me first express my concern that the whole premise of this exercise may be flawed, because this wretched decade may not really expire until Dec. 31, 2010.

Just wanted to get my two cents in on that one.

OK, here are my concerns, fears, premonitions, etc. for the next decade, in no particular order:

1. New Hampshire finally falls, irredeemably, to the moonbats, and all the apprentice Hodeses and Shea-Porters in Concord begin imposing onerous income and sales taxes. Now there is nowhere to flee.

2. Whitey Bulger is finally arrested - in Europe, at a hospital, where he is dying. It’s too late to punish him, he just wants to come home, in true Bulger fashion, on the taxpayers’ dime. Then we learn that Whitey was turned in by his brother Billy, the Corrupt Midget, who then claims the $2 million reward - one final joke on the taxpayers.

3. The Boston Globe doesn’t go out of business after all. Or, when the inevitable happens, we have to change the name of this newspaper to the Herald-Globe or, even more unthinkably, the Globe-Herald. The first day we own their rancid rag, the few remaining bow-tied bumkissers and trust-funded blow-in drifters from New York recognize me easily as I stroll through the newsroom. I’m the one wearing the green “Kiss Me I’m Irish” button.

4. May 13, 2013, Boston City Hall, at a press conference in the Eagle Room, Mayor Mumbles announces: “Sure, I’m 70, but I feel great, I’ve stabilized my weight at 320 pounds, and at the urging of so many of my constituents, I am here today to announce that I will be a candidate for a sixth . . .”

5. Fidelity announces it’s moving its headquarters to Texas (or Florida, or Tennessee - somewhere without an income tax). Who can blame them? It’s tough to run a First World company in a Third World state.

6. More crooked politicians desperately try to regain their state pensions and law licenses after felony convictions. This year’s champion greedhead was Felon Finneran, next year it will be Sal DiMasi’s turn, and then comes Dianne Wilkerson. . . . “Have they no shame?” has always been a rhetorical question, but never more so than today. Am I right, Chuck “Superfly” Turner?

7. Republicans lose the 2010 governor’s race. That really would be the end. If the GOP can’t prevail in this environment of unbridled corruption and incompetence, it will embolden the hackocracy to yet more thefts of hot stoves without gloves. Think repeal of Prop 2 , a graduated income tax, free college tuition for illegal aliens, the highest gas tax in the country, and that’s just for starters.

8. Soon-to-be-ex-state-Sen. Anthony Galluccio on the lecture circuit, warning high-school students of the disease of alcohol (and toothpaste) addiction. One squirt is too many, and a thousand are not enough. My eyelids are getting heavy, very heavy . . .

9. Geriatric moonbat politicians collecting million-dollar advances to excrete dreary 600-page memoirs that no one will ever read. John Kerry writes “A Gigolo’s Progress.” Barney Frank pens “Up from Hot Bottom.” So Deval Patrick won’t deliver his (ghostwritten?) manuscript to the publisher on time? Be thankful for small favors.

10. My worst nightmare: I end up as the last English-speaking U.S. citizen on the dying AM-radio band. Actually, this prediction already seems to be on the verge of coming to pass, here in the last decade that may or may not have ended Thursday at midnight.