Barack wins Nobel Peace Prize in record time
by Howie Carr
DNN Staff - EXCLUSIVE!
Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2009
Either the Red Sox win Sunday afternoon at Fenway or they go home for the winter. There’s only one man who can absolutely guarantee this must-win game.
Now pitching for the Red Sox: Barack Hussein Nobel Obama, the southpaw who wants to get both of his paws on your wallet.
So what if he’s 48 and has never played the game? He’ll get the “W” - that’s the lesson of this Nobel Peace Prize nonsense. He can throw the ball in the dirt in front of home plate - strike one! He can toss it over the catcher’s head - strike two! He can roll it to the plate like he’s back in that Pennsylvania bowling alley - Yer out!
It’ll be a perfect perfect game: 81 pitches, 81 strikes, at least if the home-plate umpire knows what’s good for him, if he doesn’t want to be called a . . . well, you know what Barack’s Kool-Aid-swilling cheerleaders call anybody who dares say the emperor has no clothes.
Who are these rac- I mean, who are these nattering nabobs of negativism who say Barack Obama has done nothing to earn this latest handout? Of course he’s advanced the cause of world peace. Have you forgotten the Beer Summit?
Even as we speak, the Obama administration is trying to return Manuel Zelaya to power in Honduras - you know, the dear pal of Hugo Chavez who is holed up in the Brazilian embassy down there, claiming he is being poisoned with death rays by "Israeli mercenaries.” Barack really knows how to pick ’em, doesn’t he?
Is Barack still trying to quit smoking? Let’s give him the Nobel Prize for Medicine. I heard he’s finally learned the phrase “p/e” stands for price-to-earnings ratio. Surely that merits the Nobel Prize for Economics.
The head of the IRS, Tim Geithner, is an admitted serial tax cheat. Ditto, the head of the House tax-writing committee, Charles Rangel. Do they have a Nobel Prize yet for irony. Or hypocrisy?
Wasn’t it nice of Barack to halfheartedly put on his self-deprecating hat Friday at the White House, saying, “I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures.”
More insincere words have never been spoken. What was it Winston Churchill who said of his rival Clement Atlee: “Mr. Atlee is a very modest man. But then he has much to be modest about.”
Don’t you ever dare say anything like that about Barack or they’ll call you a - well, you know they’ll call you, at least on MSNBC, where Comrade Chris and Comrade Keith both got tingles up their legs on Friday.
Barack is a guy who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple. When are we going to see his SAT and LSAT scores? Must have been very good, considering he was admitted to Columbia and Harvard Law, right? Got to be editor of the Harvard Law Review without writing a single article - how do these things happen?
The Norwegian moonbat in charge of these latest reparations - I mean very-well-deserved honors - said the $1.4 million payoff, er, prize, is intended to “contribute a little bit to enhance what he is trying to do.” Hmmm. Around here, we call that walking-around money. You know, to “grease a few guys,” as one indictment put it, quoting a solon who received a much smaller “prize.”
Why don’t we just give Barack the Triple Crown right now? Not just the baseball Triple Crown, but the Triple Crown of horse racing too - he deserves it as much as he deserves this next trip to Scandinavia, a make-up call for losing the Olympics in Copenhagen.
Is it too early to get down a bet on the Kentucky Derby? I want Barack. Win, place AND show.
Above is Former President Jimmy Carter’s
Nobel Peace Prize, which took him 22 years
to achieve after his presidency. (File Photo)
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